Sunday, May 18, 2014

OUR DAUGHTERS, Part Two: Truth Telling in a Culture of Lies

Standing Room Only- What the World is Selling!
Last week I summarized my post (#Bring Back Our Girls) with four lessons learned  from the wisdom of mothers, grandmothers, and godly mentors of young girls I've known.  As we discussed the delicate relationship between mothers and daughters, I found that paramount to keeping the dialogue open and forthcoming was this idea of transparency. Mothers simply telling their daughters the truth about life and living that truth in front of them. I use the word simply, tongue-in cheek because I know that for  mothers with spotty pasts this is hardly a simple thing to do.

How do you tell your daughters not to have sex before marriage if you've failed in this area? When is it appropriate to share information and exactly how much of your past do you reveal? These are very uncomfortable and embarrassing questions but the answer to them and others that may arise is to tell the truth!  Own up to your mistakes, share what you've learned and above all don't allow your daughters to manipulate you into condoning a practice that you know is wrong!  If it was wrong for you and you paid the painful consequences, then it's also wrong for them.

We live in a culture that is spoon feeding our children the concept of personal rights and freedom.  Although you are the one footing the bills, they tell them that they have the right to do what they please!  This is the lie of current generations and it is this lie that is enslaving the minds and hearts of our children, both sons and daughters. John 8:31-32 says that if we hold on to the teachings of Christ, we are His disciples (followers, students of His word) "then we will know the truth and the truth will set you free."  Our daughters cannot without our "truth telling" discern the difference between a lie and reality!  They are familiar with the word reality, but they confuse real life with Satan's slick perversion played out in so-called reality shows.  Even when the evidence is clearly put before them they remain oblivious to the truth! They are blinded by the Father of Lies who is now reigning in this present evil world. (2 Corin. 4:4; John 8:44; 
Ephesians 2:2).

That's why we must be honest in our conversations even when it involves our past. Let's face it, they're going to find out any way and if you've truly changed your one can condemn you not even them (Romans 8:1).  As to how much to much as necessary to help them get the point you're trying to make.  This is not True Confession time, no need to burden them with every lurid detail.  But if you're worried about losing their respect, don't! Their present experience with you is more important than your past experiences!  If you've been consistent in your love, devotion, and lifestyle before the disclosure this won't destroy their confidence in you. you hear that?  Another lie is being whispered in the ear of our daughters!  You're not pretty enough, so do what it takes to be popular says one liar.  Don't appear too smart or you won't have any friends, says another.  Go ahead, send that picture to him, nobody will see it? You've already messed up,  so you might as well give them what they want!  When will the lies stop?  Not until we earn the right to be heard first and show all the liars up for who they really are!  We can't do that being a hypocrite or setting standards for our daughters higher than we are willing to set for ourselves.  Forget about that "do what I say and not what I do" logic!

Tell your daughters the truth about life!  Tell them the truth about yourself! But most important, tell them the truth about THEMSELVES!   Check out next week's blog: Our Daughters, Part Three: Return to God's Glory

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