Monday, February 9, 2015


In every relationship there are stormy seasons!  Some storms roll in suddenly and blow over just as quickly, while others linger so long that they gradually become part of the climate!  Marriages can certainly be like that and speaking from over forty years experience, there have been many stormy days when I wondered...What was I thinking when I said, "I do!"

But that's not the only time I feel like throwing in the towel!  Trying to get along with individuals whether a spouse, a child, or a sibling, is becoming more and more challenging. I often sit and shake my head ...WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?

We live in a world that is less people-oriented (sensitive to the needs and feelings of others) and more self absorbed! I guess that's why I find myself turning more and more to the LORD, rather than relationship shows to help me through difficult times.  He reminded me of these points:

Good Relationships don't start with Perfect people or matches in personality - They begin with our relationship with God.  How can you or the person you're trying to relate to do so in harmony if they have no concept of what a real relationship looks like? Read Matthew 22:37-40 .  Where does the model of love come from?  It begins with God.  Much of the chaos we experience in our relationships stem from the fact that (a) the person doesn't know God OR (b) they don't love themselves...and how could they if they don't love God!

Good Relationships take work on both parts - Sacrifice is a given if you want good relations.  Burger King love doesn't exist in real life! (Having it your way).  Most of us feel that we're doing most of the sacrificing.  But is that the truth?  This is where we must take an honest look at ourselves and examine the core values in the relationship?  What am I willing to give up to keep these in place?  If they line up with the Word and what the Spirit is confirming in your heart, you must persevere! Galatians 6:9-10 gives a will reap a harvest in due season.  But only you and the Lord can decide if it's worth waiting for the harvest!

 Good Relationships take time to develop and mature - Continual maintenance is required!  Beware of becoming too comfortable in our relationships (Prov. 14:1). Foregoing those things you used to do when you first started to connect!  An old song has a lot of wisdom in it...The same thing it took to get your baby hooked, it's gonna take the same thing to keep her (him)!  We are quick to blame someone else for coming between a once close relationship when the cause of most failure is sheer neglect!  

Good Relationships are built on mutual respect and trust - Each person is responsible for their own integrity, no matter what phase the relationship is in (Prov. 5:21). When is it  okay to betray a confidence?  Just because you're not best or close friends does that give you the right to impugn their character?  Here's a great quote to remember: Trust takes years to build and only seconds to destroy!

Reality used in our current vernacular has very little to do with what is actually Real or True!   We grieve over pseudo acquaintances or frequent social interactions as if they were  intimate bonds for life.  Most of the time they aren't!  So when the other person loses interest or breaks the connection we feel betrayed.

Be realistic~people come into our lives for a reason, often a season of time to serve a purpose that will hopefully make us better.  But if that doesn't turn out to be the case, be willing to let it go and do so without bitterness (Heb. 12:14-15)

Let's see if you've been listening:  A.  It all begins with your relationship with God.  All else pales in comparison.  Study Christ's relationships with the people He engaged and you won't go wrong.  B.  If you are in a relationship worth keeping, work hard nurturing it with integrity and respect.  Take personal responsibility for your part in keeping it intact and on track.  C.  You can't force a relationship that isn't there or has run its course.  And why should you even try?  If you are a Christian you already have the creme de la creme (choicest) of all of them in your Lord and Savior, Jesus. 

Keep Your Heads Up Sisters and the next time someone comes to you whining about their Stormy relationships share these tips with them!

Until Next Time!

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