Monday, August 17, 2015

JOURNEY TO SISTERHOOD: Handling The Drama Queen

Why is it that just when a sister friend relationship starts coming together, the Drama Queen shows up?   It never fails somewhere between those wonderful fun-filled social activities and long chats of sharing, she makes her appearance!

One little comment gets taken way out of context and before you know comes the drama!  All of a sudden the conversation gets strange or even non-existent and when you ask what's wrong, the face drops to the floor, eyes water up and it all comes out...I never thought you would ever treat me like that...After all we've been through I thought for sure you would have my back!  Always over the top with everything normal stuff doesn't happen to a DQ, it's a national crisis in her life.

But Lord, you gotta love those Drama Queen Sisters.  I mean really, the Lord says you really HAVE TO!  I Corinthians 13:7 says this: Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

The best way to handle a Drama Queen friend is to not feed into her theatrics.  Down play the seriousness of the situation and although it will take a few times for her to get the message; it won't be long before she moves on to the next person.  Remember no Diva wants to play to an empty theater! It's no fun if she doesn't get the right response.

A second way, is to set limits to how long you will give them a listening ear.  If on social media, simply stop responding!  If you're face to face, find a way to shorten the conversation.  Move to another conversation as quickly as possible. Not rudely but firmly give your attention to another person in the room or even distance yourself by focusing on an activity that will take you away from the situation.  

Now of course a real Drama Queen will want to tag along or even hunt you down if you escape too quickly. But you can honestly tell her that this is time that you must spend by yourself to do some thinking and when isn't taking a break from the busyness of this world not warranted.  Even Jesus did this!  (Mark 1:35-36).

An opposite approach may also work.  You pick a time and place and actually spend some time with her!  These dear sisters are starving for attention, but seeking it in highly annoying and inappropriate ways!  Let her vent for a few minutes and then stop her with some thought-provoking questions.  Keep them rational and objective, free from emotion:

Did this really happen, just like that?  Have you prayed about it?  What three things could you do to address this issue?  The point is to try to reduce the emotional fuel behind all the theatrics and help her think through the issues.

Last but not least,  make sure the Drama Queen knows that she is not the only sister that you can connect with as a friend, companion, or acquaintance.  As much as she would like to believe that you simply cannot live without her, prove to her that her friendship although cherished will not be allowed to consume you emotionally or your time!

By all means, treat your Drama Queen sister with patience and tenderness.  Pray for her, pray with her but do not handicap her by feeding into a behavior that will eventually devastate all her relationships and actually pushes God off the throne of her heart.


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