Monday, March 28, 2016

THE MEASURE OF A GREAT WOMAN, Part Three: Her Conversation!

"Let your speech always be with
grace, seasoned with salt..."(Coloss. 4:6)
There an old adage, attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt that goes something like this: Great people talk about ideas; average people talk about things, but small people talk about other people!

How true! Being women we are especially gifted in the art of conversation.  No doubt about it we love and know how to talk.  But this is the very reason we need to heed the words of Paul, the apostle more than ever.  The entire quote from the picture caption goes like this:  Let your speech be with grace, seasoned with salt that you may know how to answer anyone. (Colossians 4:6 (NIV).  In other words, as the old folks used to say...Taste your words before you say them!

For several weeks now, I've been encouraging you, my sisters, to strive for greatness! Not in the sense of the world but in God's eye--the only place it eternally counts!  I've reminded you that regardless of what you hear acclaimed as greatness, through media, music, and movies--mental, spiritual, and sexual, character is most important!  It's important in the eyes of your family and children (they watch and emulate what they see).  It's  important to future employers (your social media networks are favorite places to visit when considering you for a job). It's important to the Body of Christ (As a Christian you  represent God and His word to the world) and it should be  important to you. (If no one else recognizes you as the Queen you are, precious and priceless--you should).

I've put a  mirror before you from God's own word (I Peter 3:3-4) that proves that a beautiful face, fancy clothes, a sexy persona, or notoriety can't disguise a skanky lifestyle! You can dress a sow in pearls and diamonds....but at the end of the day she's still a pig!  Great women are much more than what you see on the outside. They are women of substance and endurance with integrity that can withstand anything that this fallen world can throw at her! Not easily imitated, but definitely worth imitating!

Now for the piece de resistance (the most remarkable feature)--her conversation!  Yes, beloved, here's where it all comes to a head!  You can have the right character, the right conduct, but blow it all with the wrong speech!  It's confession time!  How many of you have blown it just that way?   I admit, I have... too many times. I've said the wrong thing at the wrong time or perhaps the right thing with the wrong tone, or even the right things to the wrong person!!!  It happens my dear and that's why we need the discipline of the Holy Spirit --EVERY DAY-- to keep us on our toes (Galatians 5:22).

When one starts thinking of prohibitive conversations, the mind automatically goes to crude, profane, or demeaning language.  Well, you're right on target.  That kind of language definitely does not befit a great woman.  But did you know there are other types of speech that are as damaging to the spirit? What about these?
  • Negative Self-Talk - What do you say about yourself!  Are you, your worst critic?  Most women don't give others a chance to say bad things about themselves. They've done a pretty good job of downing themselves before leaving home. The damage continues when we take this attitude outside. How often do we talk ourselves out of great opportunities?  Before being asked, we list all our weaker qualities throw in a dose of the I can'ts, thus ruining a potentially fruitful conversation?
  • Self-Centered Talk -  Now this can go two ways, but the focus is the same---it's all about you! The conversation that starts out like the Perils of Pauline (always in trouble, nothing going right, everybody is against me) makes you the star of your own Pity Party cinema. You portray yourself as the ultimate loser--and who wants to be around someone like that.  On the other hand, a woman who consistently talks about what she has, who she knows, and where she's been is also unbearable.  A great woman never brags or exalts herself.  She let's her works speak for themselves. (Proverbs 31: 31)
  • Dooms-Day Spinning - All of us know someone who is adept at turning a perfectly inspiring conversation into a negative one!  They are quick to point out the dark and gloomy side of any situation.  Don't be that person! Stay positive and upbeat no matter how many bad things are happening.   Negative conversations have absolutely no redeeming value.  Choose to live with the hope that Christ gives you! Learn to take others to the high road in every conversation.  Stop, Look, and Listen to what truly great women do that keeps them unforgettable:
Whatever is true, whatever is noble,
Whatever is right, whatever is pure,
Whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable.
If anything is excellent or praiseworthy
Think (and speak) about such things.

(Philippians 4:8)

If you would like to leave a comment please send an email to: OR  scroll to the bottom of my blog page at  click on the  no comments by the pencil and it will change to a writing space.

Monday, March 14, 2016


Endure hardship as a good
soldier of Jesus Christ (2 Tim. 2:3)
I've been blessed in this life to be in the midst of some great women!  None of whom you've ever heard of, mind you but great nevertheless because of both their character and their conduct!

These women poured into my life at various stages, and taught me what it means to be successful in the eyes of God. They impressed upon me with their lifestyles, the importance of leaving a legacy of greatness to my children, grandchildren, and the women I minister to on a daily basis.

Women, like my mother, poorly educated, and a survivor of domestic violence, who without government aide of any kind and without spousal support, (although my father was considered  in my home town middle class), was able to raise nine children to become honest, hard working, and successful contributors to this society!

No man ever spent the night under our roof who wasn't a blood relative or a tenant (she ran a rooming house). Our home was poorly constructed but clean and food readily available.  She never put her personal life or career ahead of our physical or emotional needs and the police never darkened our doorsteps unless they were inquiring about something going on down the street or in another house!

Great women of the  black church, like my god-mother, Greeley Martin who made me feel special and unique in my own skin; and Laura Follis, who with a quiet and gentle heart, nurtured my spiritual gift of teaching and found me capable, never hesitating to tell me so.  College professors and administrators still trying to break through bureaucratic mazes and Corporate America's glass ceiling took time to mentor me and others coming behind them. Without ever a thought or fear of future  job security and esteem being taken from them.  Yet, these women are not given the coveted Medal of Conduct, while no less warriors in their own right!

Perhaps, like myself you find this appalling!  In an age where personal skill, talent, expertise, or notoriety wipes out of public memory bad or immoral conduct.  It's no wonder our youth can find no decent role models to emulate!  Anything goes as  long as you can make money at it~even if you're only famous for being infamously bad!!

Great women, truly great women are WOMEN OF SUBSTANCE!  They have more going for them than false beauty, popularity, pseudo friends, or desires for seeking that which is trendy, fashionable, or chic!  THEY ARE:

  • Intelligent, but humble
  • Passionate but disciplined
  • Efficient but teachable
  • Strong but gentle
  • Affluent but giving
  • Trust worthy but wise
  • Determined but flexible
Endures much, Gives generously, Serves faithfully!
Women of Faith, Godly Character, and Exemplary Conduct!

~Beloved...Character Still Counts~

I Peter 3:3-4

Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 


If you would like to leave a comment please send an email to: OR  scroll to the bottom of my blog page at  click on the  no comments by the pencil and it will change to a writing space.

Monday, March 7, 2016

THE MEASURE OF A GREAT WOMAN: Part One - Her Character!

Who can find a virtuous woman?
For her price is far above rubies (Prov. 31:10)
March is traditionally National Women's History Month.  A time women of all colors, creeds, and backgrounds are celebrated globally for their achievements and contributions to society.  In other words, women who make this world better! This year the focus is on women in public service and government.  Good on you, I say!  Congratulations and Kudos for all your accomplishments!

But I'd like to turn our thoughts a bit deeper than the activism,  advocacy, and pioneering spirit that have inspired so many to levels of greatness in the public eye.  I want to ask this simple question of you, my readers:  HOW DO YOU MEASURE A GREAT WOMAN?

How do you measure her worth, true beauty, the essence of her total being.  I'm in somewhat of a quandary you see.  As a woman of a certain age with adult children and grandchildren, this suddenly struck me... if I'm confused, I can only wonder about the rest of you who are  much younger.

So of course, I went to the Source of all wisdom, the words of the Ancient  of Ancients, the Standard by which all things must be measured...The Bible (2 Timothy 3:16).  The first thing I found that inspired me to strive for greatness in my womanhood was ....Character,.  I want to be a woman of integrity!  I  love the way June Hunt, Bible Counselor and host of the radio program, Hope For The Heart, puts it:  "Integrity means being the same in the dark as you are in the light."

Living presently in a Post Modern society, true integrity is hard to spot. Truth as we have witnessed is relative to an individual's own insight, experiences, or beliefs.
 Yet a semblance of integrity still's just perverted. Like almost everything else in our world there is perverted morality, perverted justice, and a perverted governing system.  It is most assuredly a deviation from the Standard of God just mentioned. 

Character that makes a woman great is presented to us in God's Word in three areas: Our Mind, Body, and Spirit! This encompasses our total being! Let me show you how:

<<>>MENTAL CHARACTER   (My Thought Life) - What's on your mind constantly? Self, Success, Social acceptance, Finances, etc.  Prov. 23:7 says what a woman thinks in her heart, she becomes. (paraphrase) Our thoughts activate that which is in our hearts.  Our heart reveals what we believe about ourselves and if both are flawed bad behavior is not far behind. (Matt. 12:34).  You didn't become power hungry, an approval addict, or financially insecure overnight.  These thoughts have been bouncing around in your head for years, with often devastating results. To assure that we are on our game mentally, we have to bring, every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. (2 Cor. 10:5)  So Get rid of that Stinking, Thinking Habit!

<<>>SEXUAL CHARACTER  (Respecting Covenant Relations) - Believe it or not,  sexual character has less to do with the sexual act than it does sexual attitude! I think we can all agree that our world is overly sexualized.  Blatant or subliminally it is everywhere and generally not  portrayed the way God designed it (Gen. 1:27-28).  I surmise that many who engage in sexual relations do so, not for the physical benefits of genital stimulation but for the desire for intimacy. People want to feel close, connected, in an unique and significant way with someone.

That desire in and of itself is not sinful.  The timing (before marriage), the individual (any one outside of the marital covenant, and lack of mutual respect and honor for each other is the defining difference. (I Cor. 7:2-5).  Pornography, Erotica, Sexting, Phone Sex and the likes all violate the sexual character of women.  "In our relationships with each other we model the community of the Trinity." (a quote from a book by Marva Dawn, Sexual Character, Beyond Technique to Intimacy).  Respecting the boundaries of the marital relations and equating such with the Worship of God (the Ultimate covenant relationship) forces a change in our attitude about sex period! 

<<>>SPIRITUAL CHARACTER (Our Treatment of Others) - God is honored by our lives as we relate to others in a spiritual way!  This can be summed up with one verse of scripture: 

 O people, the Lord has told you what is good,
    and this is what he requires of you:
to do what is right, to love mercy,
    and to walk humbly with your God. (Micah 6:8 NLT)

1.  Do what is honest, Do what is fair -simply put Do the Right Thing!

2.   Be generous in spirit, take the high road in every situation. Be kind, and trustworthy

3. Take responsibility for your own actions, not blaming circumstances or others for your mistakes but learning from them. Thinking no higher of yourself than you ought but holding
firm to godly esteem in Christ.

Now,  Let Me hear from you:  HOW DO YOU MEASURE A GREAT WOMAN?


If you would like to leave a comment please send an email to: OR  scroll to the bottom of my blog page at  click on the  no comments by the pencil and it will change to a writing space.