Sensible people control their temper, they earn respect by overlooking wrongs. (Prov. 19:11 NLT) |
True Dat, my friends~
I'm so over, all the mess that's going on in this world, locally and globally. So much so that when we began this year's Lenten season, I didn't have to think too long about what I would give up as my spiritual offering! Yes, the fried foods and sweets would be a part of it but I needed somehow to make a Statement of Peace.
Of course, the politicians in Washington wouldn't hear it. Violators in the streets wouldn't hear it. Certainly, Vladimir Putin in Russia won't care, but it would resound loudly in my own personal life and especially my home! This year I gave up my right to be right! (It hasn't been easy.)
A 40-Day Fast In Humility
Admittedly, I've been known on occasion to go into my Right Fighting bag on issues I'm passionate about. Those standards and principles I believe have shaped and formed my experiences and character. Heck! for most of them I could even find biblical proof to justify my right to fight!
Right Fighter: A person who places a
higher value on being right than anything else.
Must have the last word and becomes emotional
when people do not agree with them.
But through prayer and self reflection (the purpose of Lent) God gave me insight into what is worth fighting for and what's not! I was becoming a Right Fighter, dangerously on the edge of alienating some very important people in my life. Besides that, I wasn't fighting wisely or biblically! [Click here] Biblical Wisdom
What Jesus Taught Me
As we all should, I started my new learning curve, in God's Word. Remember the expression from years back, WWJD (What would Jesus do?). In this case it's what He already DID! During His 40 days in the wilderness, He had multiple occasions to assert His rights and prove His divinity. But He took another approach. He got the Last Word, without having to fight for it! [Click here] Jesus in the Wilderness
Jesus' Wilderness Experience solidified three important lessons for me:
๐When we insist on being right we miss a lot! (We learn nothing new!)
๐When we insist on being right, it doesn't mean that it will lead to a positive change in the other person!
Trying to change the mind of someone who is as adamant about what they believe as you are is useless! For all that the Devil tried to tempt Jesus with and was proven to be outwitted and outmatched, he was still the Devil when he left Him in the wilderness. Only God can change a heart, and He will only change a mind if that person is willing! [Click Here] Luke 13:34
The Power of Saying....OKAY!
Jesus tests involved the Lust of the Flesh, the Lust of the Eyes, and the Pride of Life. My 40-Day Fast is about half-way complete and I am dealing with the same. While under attack of the Enemy (and I've had a couple of real bouts!), it would have been so easy to get into my flesh, especially when the attack seemed unprovoked and the other person clearly in the wrong! The Right Fighter in me, was telling me to Go For It! Defend your rights! But the Holy Spirit, said, Just Say Okay and move on!
When I Said "Okay" This is What Happened!
1. Tempers cooled down! Sometimes your opponent just wants to know they are heard. Proverbs 15:1 says that a soft answer turns away wrath; but a harsh word stirs up anger. Frankly, I had tried this before and it didn't work, but now that I had a different perspective, I got a different result!
2. "I" became less defensive! You'd be surprised what one step back and a few deep breaths will do. In a physical battle, it is unwise to lay down your weapons, but in a spiritual battle, it's the wisest thing you can do! [Click here] 2 Corinthians 10:4 We don't have to be on the defensive because the battle is not ours but the Lord's. Give it to Him knowing that your pride is the only thing that will keep you from doing it!
3. I was more concerned about my witness than what others thought of me. Backing down isn't easy for a Right Fighter! After all we've been trained to be one all our lives. In school we competed to give the right answers. In sports never give the ball to an opponent and say, Okay, have it your way! It's just not heard of! But sometimes saying OKAY is exactly what is needed.
Being right at all costs, I've learned is too high a cost to pay if you end up miserable, bitter and alone. It's too costly, if it stresses you to the point that you need medication or therapy to deal with the anxiety and pain. If saying OKAY saves your sanity and a healthy relationship what so hard about it…
Sometimes Being a Right Fighter
Serves No One But Yourself!
UNTIL NEXT TIME
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Possibly the last time we conversed, years ago, we talked about the benefits of travel. I hope that you still have that desire! ๐
ReplyDeleteBlessings, Jim Brandyberry
I learned the hard way with the consequences of always proving your point causes more damage than good. Kudos to your article - this right fighter has realized sometimes it is better to be happy than right!
ReplyDeleteJeri