SPIRITUAL...OR PERHAPS...LOST??

"The natural person does not 

accept the things of the Spirit of
God...(I Corinthians 2:14 ESV)

Sisters, I'm in a conundrum (puzzled, perplexed, and otherwise confused!)  I hear the word spiritual being tossed about in the most unexpected places and often (though not exclusively) among those in the millennial age group (born 1980-2000).

It will usually come up during intergenerational conversations around the topic of religion or morality.  Apparently, the term is a suitable answer to explain whether someone has a personal relationship with God or not.

In today's culture people who have seriously adopted this mindset have gone beyond being trendy to getting more organized. They have acquired popular and recognizable acronyms to identify themselves (SBNR- spiritual but not religious; SBNA-spiritual but not affiliated or simply NONES) and the masses are growing every day!

 So dear readers tell me: What does being spiritual mean to you?

I'm curious because the responses Ive gotten so far have not been very clear.  I do know that spirituality to a SBNR is different than what is taught in Traditional Christianity.  There is no meeting in a corporate worship setting on a given day or time with consistency.  Prayer is often involved. At least the practice of it in some form or another. Charity and the furtherance of good will is similar to what one might call Christian service.  That is if a SBNR is really a Christian!

Although no free will offering or tithing is emphasized, monetary giving to noble causes is quite common.  Live streaming a church service via internet is acceptable and viewing a preacher on YouTube or attending a gospel concert are all equal forms of worship! So what, a SBNA might say to you, are we missing?

This post will not clarify the myriad of explanations given if you challenge a person who identifies as spiritual regarding their faith.  But it might help you understand their perspective and keep you from accepting as merely spiritual immaturity, the greater issue--their salvation. At the end of life, where will their soul reside... heaven or hell!


It is so important when engaging in conversations with a SBNR that you discern what spirit is embodying and shaping their lives: the fleshly human spirit, satanic, or Holy spirit.  Pray first, then listen carefully to where they place honor and their allegiance.  Is it in a specific person, deity, concept, or philosophy?  Remember spiritual people have no particular standard of truth that they adhere to and may formulate a worldview that has fragments of many beliefs. 

>>Become familiar with how they defend their form of spirituality, i.e., organized religion is not necessary to practice their faith.  Denominations are nothing more than labeling, and puts practitioners in a box. 

>>Do not become combative on points of disagreement but stand boldly on the Word of God.
Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone (Colossians 4:6).  Respectful listening should be practiced at all times. By the way this is what our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ did and He held His own among the  most skillful of gospel dissenters.

>>If they insist that they are Christian be sure that the words they use match the bible's meaning and context: Here are two examples: Sin and Truth.  What we recognize as sin according to God's word may be interpreted by a spiritual person as an individual's choice according to their personal beliefs, values, or life style.

 In other words, what's sin to you may not be a sin for them! They will say that we have no right to judge another's behavior and should tolerate or accept what does not coincide with our own beliefs.  We believe God's word is the absolute standard for right and wrong. This is not so for every spiritual person.  Their concept is that Truth is relative--whatever is right for you personally!

You may never fully persuade a SBNR, SBNA, or NONE to adhere to the faith practices that you have grown to love, respect, and endorse.  That's not your job any way!  But you might sway them with a bit of patience and knowledge based on your Christian experience.  One way is to show them where their brand of spirituality will disappoint them:

• The lack of a community of faithful believers to share good and hard times of life. Strong relational bonds and loyal friendships are rare.  Integrity, accountability, and unconditional love is formulated within the confines of a community of faith and is always dependable because we have the Perfect Example, Jesus Christ.  This friendship is without compare! (Prov. 18:24)

• Having no trusted standard for right and wrong behavior is dangerous.  What is called truth has been grossly distorted in our world.  One can hardly believe from one day to another if what we hear and even see is genuine, or even if it comes from a reputable source. A spiritual person's search for wisdom among various teachings or philosophies may result in temporary inspiration or encouragement but is no substitute for God's Word. The bible is inerrant, fail safe, and has been thoroughly tested to be dependable.

• Practicing spirituality without the Holy Spirit is nothing more than self-absorption.  It is as the book of Judges illustrates, doing what is right in your own eyes! (Judges 17:6)  The practitioner has placed themselves on the throne of their own heart and is now worshiping the trinity of: Me, Myself, and I! 

Sisters, we all have someone in our lives that we've been praying for, debating with, and have become frustrated trying to win to the Lord!  Do not be discouraged!  But do not be deceived thinking that because they are spiritual, attending church once in awhile that they are safe from the judgement of God. 

Yes, they may be able to  dialogue with you using scriptures learned years ago, even diminish your concerns by telling you they believe in God, pray, and read the bible. But do they have a genuine faith in God?  This might be a good time to find out!    

UNTIL NEXT TIME...

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IMPROVING YOUR SPIRITUAL VISION FOR 2020

"The eyes of your understanding
being enlightened..."(Eph. 1:18)

One of the sure signs of aging is changes in your vision.  It's very true that things become dim and less clear physically the older you get.

There's not much one can do about that except maybe laser surgery to correct it or trendy eyewear to hide the fact that you're practically blind without glasses!

I've worn eyeglasses since the age of twelve so I'm quite used to an extra set of eyes on my face.  But one thing I am concerned about is my spiritual visual acuity!  The ability to discern spiritually where the Lord wants me to be and stay within the bounds of His will for my life.

 I'd love to say that spiritual acuity improves with age and experience!  I mean, isn't that what they're talking about when someone says: Hindsight is 20/20!  Not necessarily.  You can repeat the same mistakes over and over again without the benefit of gaining wisdom or spiritual insight.   By the looks of things going on in the world today; I don't think we can afford the luxury of dull vision!

I'll be wearing glasses possibly for the rest of my life.  I have both myopia, astigmatism and growing cataracts. But I also have a plan to improve my spiritual vision.   Perhaps sharing it with you today may be of some help to you!

STEP ONE - FOCUS:

When you go to an optometrist, a technician will put you through a series of tests to assess your current state of vision. More than once you will hear the instruction to focus!  This is necessary to record accurately data to determine the health of your eyes!  Focus helps you determine where you need to be spiritually as well!

Too often Christians think busyness is conducive to spirituality.  The more I do, the more spiritual I am is this mindset.  Actually, if not careful busyness can become an enemy of spirituality.  It keeps us in control of our life rather than God. We plan our days doing what we want rather than what He wants!  Check out this blog post from Truth + Grace!

Busyness the Enemy of Spirituality

STEP TWO - PRIORITY:

This step is actually a subset of the previous one, Focus.  The inability to manage distractions, even those perceived to be good and spiritual can keep us in a place where we are neither effective nor efficient.  And yes there is a difference between the two!  To be effective is the ability to do things in a way that accomplishes its intended purpose.  To be efficient is to do it in the best possible way with the least amount of waste and effort!  

When I think of Spiritual priorities, my mind automatically goes to the bible story of Mary and Martha. You can read it here in Luke 10:38-42.    Jesus at the Home of Mary and Martha   Jesus summarized it well in His teaching that in every service opportunity there is always that one thing that is really needed! When we can pick our what that one thing is and then do it, we are well on our way to spiritual visual acuity.

STEP THREE - DISCERNMENT:

Depending on your faith path, spiritual discernment can mean a lot of things.  I simply look at it as being able to see things the way the Lord sees them. This takes practice and above all reading,
meditating and applying God's Word!  The more this becomes a way of life rather than religiosity, the easier it will be to see spiritual darkness in unsuspecting places.  Helps us look beyond nominal requests and address spiritual needs. I  love the way Henry Blackaby, author of the book, Experiencing God puts it:  Christian discernment is to, "Watch where God is working and then joining Him," based on John 5:17, 19-20).

Spiritual discernment also has an element of simple joy embedded in it.  It is the ability to recognize and appreciate the small things in life in a way so many do not.  Things like a beautiful sunrise or sunset.  A cool breeze on a scorching hot day. The smell of fresh baked bread, or the feeling you get lying down on fresh clean sheets after a weary day.

STEP FOUR - EXPECTATION:

Spiritual expectation is grounded in the Word of God.  Who God is and His promises to His people are revealed within His Holy Writ.  As we learn to interpret accurately and see by faith its trustworthiness, our expectations become more realistic and we are never disappointed.  We can expect that God will never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). That He will answer our prayers (Psalm 34:6).  That He will empower us for service (Ephesians. 2:10) and at the end of our journey here on earth we will have a heavenly home, rewards, and eternal life waiting for us with Him (John 14:1-6

My physical vision may never be 20/20 in Year 2020 (although I'm told that sometimes after cataract surgery it will get better).  But my Spiritual vision can only get better with this year.  Because I'm learning to conserve my energy by focusing first on things that are the most important, saying "No" to worthwhile but expendable things; taking time to enjoy the simple things in life and believing wholeheartedly that God will fulfill His every promise meant for me!

See You Later and Hopefully A LOT Clearer in 2020

HAPPY NEW YEAR READERS!

UNTIL NEXT TIME...

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ADVENT: A Time of Reflection and Preparation

Therefore the Lord Himself will
give you a sign: The virgin
will conceive and give birth to
a son, and will call Him
Immanuel (Isaiah 7:14)

December 1 through December 24 is recognized in the Christian faith as the season of Advent.  In Latin the word Advent is adventus or parousia, meaning coming!

Advent is observed in numerous ways but generally noted with beautiful calendars, elaborate candles and special church services.  It is also a welcome relief to the chaos of commercialism during Christmas as we know it.  For us it signifies the season's True Meaning:

The coming of Jesus Christ into the world to save mankind from his sins. (Matthew 1:21)   Advent is above all, the commemoration of His miraculous birth and the bold proclamation of the sovereignty and grace of the Lord that gives Believers eternal life.  

SOMEBODY OUGHT TO SAY, AMEN!!!

After 400 Years of Silence, God finally speaks to this fallen world and He does it not with vengeance or bitterness but sweet, sweet, grace! A Savior wrapped in love, cushioned in compassion, and displayed  humbly for all to see.  From the potentates of royalty to the smelly shepherds fresh from their herds, God bade them all to come see this thing that has come to pass, which the Lord has made known to us. (Luke 2:15) 

Indeed, Christmas is the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!  But it is also a time to reflect and prepare for Christ's Second Advent! Again, it will be personal, visible, and glorious, but this time He comes not as a Babe in a manger but a King ruling and reigning and setting all in order!  This is the blessed hope that all Christians should be praying for not just in this season but perpetually! (Titus 2:13)

My personal time of reflection and preparation is not limited to Advent!  Several times a year: New Years Day; Lenten period and of course my birthday, I go back and read past journal entries! Yep! I'm one of those Weirdos!  I've been journaling for years.  It keeps me focused and helps me stay abreast of my spiritual needs and growth.

My entries are part prayer requests and answers; part sermon and study notes; part diary, and just personal conversations I've had with the Lord over the years! 

 I record my concerns and fears.  My hopes and dreams.  I vent...alot... finding emotional release pouring my heart out to the only One who really understands; and when God reveals something significant to me in His word or devotionals, I jot those down too! It has been what has kept me mentally stable most of my adult life. 

As the Year 2020 approaches, I'm sensitive to the need to reflect and prepare for Christ's Second Coming even more!  Do you feel me?  I'm experiencing too many historical phenomenas in my life! Would you believe that this is the third time I've witnessed impeachment hearings of a United States President?  Jesus has Got To Be On His Way!

Still, I know that there is much I need to do to prepare for His Second Advent! Paramount to that is Stay Focused On Things that Really Matter!  I'm grateful that I was given a strategy in the leadership meeting I attended last evening. 

My pastor issued a challenge to all of us in ministry to meditate on the following scripture:

"Know well the condition of your flocks

and give attention to your herds."

(Proverbs 27:23 ESV)

That's a pretty good plan don't you think?

My own flock is fairly expansive.  I'm not only the matriarch of my family, but I have a cadre of Sister Saints I keep an eye on as advisor in women's ministry.  There's my Adult Women's Sunday school class, a couple of Millennial sisters, some Older Saints who I counsel and seek advice from and of course,  ANY OF YOU who take time to read this blog!

This particular scripture encapsulated our church's 2020 theme: FOCUS: Faith, Family, Finances, Future. I've learned through years of challenges that FOCUS AND PRIORITY are the keys to weathering any storm!  Faith above all is foundational and will ensure success in the other three areas.  Still you might want to consider the following:

😔  Do you have a personal relationship with Christ?
😔  Where might you strengthen familial relationships?
😔  Are your finances in order? Do you have a biblical/achievable plan to do so?  

😔   Do you have after life plans in place? Estate planning, Living will, Medical
         Power of Attorney, funeral/burial insurance.

Christmas is not often the time one thinks about the future other than, how you will pay bills after overspending for the holidays!  But Advent is perfect!  For Christians our entire life is based on preparation for what will happen not only now but after we leave here.  

What legacy will we leave?  Will our life have mattered?  Now is the time to give those two questions some thought!
         

UNTIL NEXT TIME...

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GRATEFUL JOB: Finding Gratitude in Times of Adversity

Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays! Even as a child I preferred it over Christmas.  Christmas often brought disappointment but Thanksgiving...never!

I learned early to enjoy the simple things in life: shelter, warmth, clothing, health, and of course food!  Especially food. I can remember being without a lot of things growing up, but food wasn't one of them.

It wasn't always fancy or what I wanted but it was plentiful and nourishing and provided the sustenance needed to face another day. No matter what that day might bring.  I guess that's why in some contexts,  it is called comfort food! And it's a rare Thanksgiving holiday when comfort food, does not make an appearance in a meal! 

It may seem strange to you that I chose the story of Job to highlight in my Thanksgiving blog post!  Actually, I think it's kind of perfect!  This Old Testament story is a common one when you think of unbearable pain, suffering, and hopelessness, but I see it differently.  I find in it a great source of comfort and a powerful illustration of gratitude during this, my own personal time of loss. (Earlier this month I lost an older brother.)

The book of Job is perhaps the oldest book in the Old Testament. Job, our protagonist was a patriarch before the Israelite race was established, but like the Jews, a forerunner of much adversity.  Like the Jewish race he was chosen by God to endure trials, pain, and evil at the hands of Satan.   Job was in fact anointed, commissioned, and ordained, if you will, to survive the unthinkable and then receive the Lord's blessings!

Job lost his children, property, health, and the respect of his wife and friends.  Still he remained grateful.  You may be saying to yourself: How is that even possible?  I can barely make it through today's challenges!  This is where God provides a little comfort food for the soul from His word!  

Grateful Job understood that everything he had and all he would ever have comes from the hand of God.  We own nothing, not even our lives and even that is given back when we die:

"And he said, Naked I came from my mother's womb, and 

naked shall I return.  The Lord gave, and the Lord

has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord." (Job 1:21)

Grateful Job knew that even in his pain, God had a higher and more divine purpose for his suffering.  He did not know it fully but endured with faith because of God's sovereignty:

"Then Job answered the Lord and said: I know that 

you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours

can be thwarted." (Job 42:1-2)

Grateful Job had benefitted from past experience, the love and provisions of God. He did not fear his destiny: 

"You clothed me with skin and flesh, and knit

me together with bones and sinews. You have granted

me life and steadfast love, and your care has preserved my spirit."

(Job 10: 11-12)

Grateful Job maintained his spiritual integrity when things were at their worst and he could see no end but death to the trials he was undergoing:

"Though he slay me I will hope in him; but I
will maintain mine own ways before him." 
(Job 13:15)

As you sit before your Thanksgiving meal, pause to give thanks to God for the spiritual food He has provided as well as the physical.  There may be an empty place once occupied by a loved one or a dish or two missing from last year's fare.  Regardless of the circumstances in your life be grateful!  Meditate on the following verses while you eat and leave your table content and full of God's blessings and don't be afraid to share....there will be plenty of leftovers!

"How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than

honey to my mouth!  (Psalm 119:103)

"O, Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes

refuge in him. (Psalm 34:8)

"Your words were found, and I ate them, and they became to me

joy and my heart's delight, for I bear your name,

O Lord God of Heaven's Armies (Jeremiah 15:16)

UNTIL NEXT TIME...

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HANDS UP! You're Surrounded!

"The battle is not yours, it's 

the Lord's." (2 Chron. 20:15)

Growing up during the infancy of television, many of my favorite shows were detectives.  Do you remember Dragnet, Peter Gunn, and Perry Mason?

Inevitably, somewhere just before nabbing the bad guys the cops would yell: Come out with your hands up...you're surrounded!  You knew then that it wouldn't be long before the criminals would be locked up and society would again be safe from their antics!

However, I'd like you to think of this phrase in a different context.  From the perspective of an Old Testament story that has become for me a go-to passage when I'm feeling overwhelmed! Times when Satanic attacks are coming fast and furious!

In Second Chronicles 20:12, Judah's King Jehoshaphat feels the impact from foolish alliances he has made.  He's caught in a battle surrounded by his enemies. Once a faithful follower of God, he rejected the Almighty's care and guidance and now he doesn't know what to do! (Maybe you can relate!)

Here's a question to consider dear sisters:  What do you do, when you don't know what to do?   The answer is simple...

 Turn to God... Cry Out to God... Put your Faith in God!

That's what King Jehoshaphat did!  After a sincere and heartfelt time of repentance, he merely surrendered his will to God's.  He acknowledged the futility of his own selfish desire, and impotent schemes to deal with his enemies and simply put his hands up and acquiesced to God's authority!  We must do the same!

Go ahead!  Read the rest of the story and find out how God gave Jehoshaphat victory.  It wasn't by putting the most fierce warriors on the front lines to fight! It was by sending out the Praisers (2 Chronicles 20:21-23).  What will you do when Satan tries to take your marriage, kill your children, bankrupt your finances, poison your health, or steal your mind with anxiety and worry? When everywhere you look there's a new challenge staring you in the face!  Let me say to you the same words that the prophet Jahaziel said to Jehoshaphat:

"Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. 

 For the battle is not yours, but God's" (2 Chronicles 20:15) 

Put Your Hands Up!  First in Surrender to the Lord God to have His way in your life!

Put Your Hands Up!  Second in Prayer submitting to His instructions no matter how foolish!

Put Your Hands Up!   Third in Faith, knowing what He's already done He can do again!

Put Your Hands Up!  Third in Praise because He's good no matter what the outcome!


As a lyric from the song  Surrounded, Fight My Battle by the group Upper Room states: 

It may look like I'm surrounded but I'm surrounded by You.

It may look like I'm surrounded but I know the truth, I know

the truth..Praise is how I fight my battles!

UNTIL NEXT TIME...

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PRAYER CHANGES THINGS...THAT IS, IF YOU DO IT RIGHT!!!

"I urge that 
entreaties, prayers,
and thanksgiving be 
made on behalf of all men..."
(I Tim. 2:1 NIV)

Prayer has been the focus of my church's October Family and Friends Month!  It is the spiritual anchor for our 2019 church theme: What Matters Most!  For the times we're living in, this is quite befitting, don't you think?

Seems like ALL I've been doing here lately is praying.  And of course as a Christian that should be no surprise.  Communing with the Father is not only mandated by scripture but is essential to our spiritual survival (see I Thessalonians 5:17; Isaiah 55:6; Ephesians 6:8).  Still, I've been encumbered by an unusual burden to pray!

I wake up in the middle of the night to pray!  I see something on television or witness a scene as I drive and I'm prompted to pray.  People come across my mind, some I haven't thought about or seen in months and I pray! I pray with other Christians six out of seven days on our church's prayer line.  I participate in corporate prayer at Wednesday's Noon and Sunday morning services.  When I check on the sick and shut-in visiting them in their homes or the hospital I pray by their bedside and on the telephone! 

So, I was really shocked to find out after all this, that I might just be doing it wrong ...YOU MIGHT BE TOO!

I've been preparing to train prayer warriors for this year's Women's Spiritual Boot Camp in the area of intercessory prayer.  Intercessory prayer is different than other types of prayers.  These are prayers in which you stand in the gap before the Lord for those who can't or may be too weak to do so themselves yet are in peril of physical or spiritual death!   We don't intercede nearly enough prayer, although we think we do!

As I researched more into this type of praying I was really struck with how powerful it can be...that is if we do it right (James 5:14-16)!  I also realized that it is something that we must not take on lightly for the intercessor is often vulnerable spiritually to the thing they are praying against (Ephesians 6:10-18)!  It is important that as intercessors we are sincere and committed to the task, and above all, prepared!

I confess, I've been guilty of having someone ask me to pray for them and I simply forgot! (To remedy that, if time and occasion permits, I stop and pray right then!)  Other times, I think I've fulfilled my obligation to pray by mentioning it in my personal prayers then turfing it to someone else  (pastor, prayer line host, designated pray-er in a church meeting) for deeper, more passionate consideration! Neither is an appropriate way to intercede in prayer!


This is what I've learned as an Intercessor in Prayer:

• Praying and Interceding is different:  Praying is what You do!  Intercession is what God tells you to pray! Most of the time when a prayer request is given to you the requestor wants you to pray their will! An intercessor must pray what the Spirit tells them to pray!  Examples:  My family member has cancer, pray for his/her healing!  You ask..is he/she saved?  If the answer is no, or I don't know.  The intercessor prays for salvation first and then the body! Learn to listen with spiritual ears!!

• Preparation is Key:  Pray for yourself first that your heart and mind are free from unconfessed sin, distractions, or anything that would interfere with a prayer getting through! (I John 1:9) If you are not spiritually prepared, wait until you've completed your own personal business with the Lord before you pray for someone else.

• When You Pray Focus on God First (Isaiah 55:8-9): This is where the A.C.T.S. prayer acrostic comes in handy (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving and Supplication) You are only the vessel not the source that the Sovereign God uses to answer prayer!

• Use Scripture when praying! Pray God's promises back to Him. Not just any scripture, but ones that are appropriate for the situation.  This is another avenue of preparation for the intercessor, for one cannot pray what he/she does not know!

• Know When To Call For Help.  Sometimes it is hard to know how to pray for a certain request. We may not be strong in spiritual discernment.  However, the Holy Spirit is omniscient and He is also our Helper.  So simply let Him give you the words. (Romans 8:26-27).  We may also come across a situation in which you need another prayer warrior to assist for additional spiritual support.  Humble yourself and ask! (Matthew 18:20)

• Leave All In God's Hands. What if you are asked to pray for the same things over and over again?  There are situations when persistent prayer is not only appropriate but biblical (Luke 18:1-7). This is an area of much debate among Christians. Have the requester to consider that God is not obligated to answer prayer the way they want. It could be that they are unwilling to accept His answer.  In that case the prayer should be for Strength and Grace to Endure! (2 Corinthians 12:8-9)

  PRAYER CHANGES, PEOPLE, PLACES, AND THINGS!!!

True, but only if we Pray Sincerely, Fervently, and According to God's Perfect Will!

(James 5:14-16)

UNTIL NEXT TIME...

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CO-PARENTING WITH JESUS!

For your Maker is your husband,
the Lord Almighty is His Name...
(Isaiah 54:5)

My heart is aching this morning. I've just been thinking about all of the single mothers in my social spheres: family, church, neighborhood and beyond.  The list goes on and on.  Young women, even some young men are struggling to make ends meet. They want to be responsible and raise their children but are feeling overwhelmed!

The single parenting burden comes in different forms: Those who never married.  Some who had spouses but are now divorced or widowed.  Many with husbands but feeling the weight of their absence due to military or work commitments.  And more jolting, those daddies and mommies caught up in the penal system and are now serving time.  The result is the same. Every day they face the loneliness and challenges of parenting either alone or in a dysfunctional co-parenting relationship.

Over a period of time, I've had the privilege of being the confidant of some single moms dealing with the latter.  I've prayed with them, encouraged them and as often as possible tried to provide a ray of hope for their situation.  These are Christian sisters in their twenties and thirties.   Sociologists call them Millennials. (An interesting choice of words.  Millennial literally means 1000 years.  Very befitting however, for this generation has seen enough trouble to last them another 1000 years!!!)

 These women are smart, beautiful, educated, and growing in the grace and knowledge of Jesus (2 Peter 2:18) but are not exempt from the real world and its troubles. Every morning they wake up to a world that threatens to snuff out their children's dreams, identities and very lives!  And somehow even with the support of family, friends and church they still feel the angst of parenting alone even if another person is involved!

Here are some Common Co-Parenting Challenges:

1.  Insufficient financial or emotional support for the children
2.  Legal issues (joint, shared or legal custody battles)
3.  Religious differences between parents
4.  Child rearing methods: disagreement on discipline, curfews, leniency for child
5.  Lingering trust issues resulting in poor communication and negative emotions
6.  Separating old relationships from new ones (dislike of new man or woman in other parent's life)
7.  Control or safety issues when child is with other parent

The Following will not Resolve every Problem but will help Parents face them Biblically:

1. You may feel alone but you are NOT alone! God is with you.  He will provide and help you parent your child through prayer, His word, and obedience to His counsel.  For your Maker is your husband, the Lord Almighty is His Name... (Isaiah 54:5)

2. Watch your words and tone when speaking to and about your child's father. Children know when they are the center of your conversation. "Little pitchers have big ears."  Pray this verse often:  Set a guard over my mouth. Lord watch over the door of my lips (Psalm 141:3)

3. Learn Biblical Communication Skills.  What you say is only part of it.  Good listening is also required.  Know this, my beloved brothers; let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. (James 1:19)

4. Try to resolve issues out of court.  We have a flawed legal system and there's no guarantee you will receive justice.  It's better to go to God first and/or receive biblical counseling. When one of you has a grievance against another, does he dare go to law before the unrighteous instead of the saints?(I Corinthian 6:1)

5. Deal with trust issues, unforgiveness, and personal insecurities before trying to deal with your child's father.  We all have blindspots and never is one person always right.  Learn patience and compassion.  Bear with each other and forgive one another.  If any of you has a grievance against someone forgive as the Lord forgave you. (Colossians 3:13)

Many of the things you worry about as a single parent never happens.  Parenting is a three-person job-- A Mom, Dad, and God!  If one is missing....don't let it be the Lord!

Be Encouraged!  I like the way this secular life coach puts it:

"This is probably one of the most 

difficult challenges any parent could

face--learning to love the other parent

enough to make the children first."

-Iyanla Vanzant

UNTIL NEXT TIME...

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