CO-PARENTING WITH JESUS!

For your Maker is your husband,
the Lord Almighty is His Name...
(Isaiah 54:5)

My heart is aching this morning. I've just been thinking about all of the single mothers in my social spheres: family, church, neighborhood and beyond.  The list goes on and on.  Young women, even some young men are struggling to make ends meet. They want to be responsible and raise their children but are feeling overwhelmed!

The single parenting burden comes in different forms: Those who never married.  Some who had spouses but are now divorced or widowed.  Many with husbands but feeling the weight of their absence due to military or work commitments.  And more jolting, those daddies and mommies caught up in the penal system and are now serving time.  The result is the same. Every day they face the loneliness and challenges of parenting either alone or in a dysfunctional co-parenting relationship.

Over a period of time, I've had the privilege of being the confidant of some single moms dealing with the latter.  I've prayed with them, encouraged them and as often as possible tried to provide a ray of hope for their situation.  These are Christian sisters in their twenties and thirties.   Sociologists call them Millennials. (An interesting choice of words.  Millennial literally means 1000 years.  Very befitting however, for this generation has seen enough trouble to last them another 1000 years!!!)

 These women are smart, beautiful, educated, and growing in the grace and knowledge of Jesus (2 Peter 2:18) but are not exempt from the real world and its troubles. Every morning they wake up to a world that threatens to snuff out their children's dreams, identities and very lives!  And somehow even with the support of family, friends and church they still feel the angst of parenting alone even if another person is involved!

Here are some Common Co-Parenting Challenges:

1.  Insufficient financial or emotional support for the children
2.  Legal issues (joint, shared or legal custody battles)
3.  Religious differences between parents
4.  Child rearing methods: disagreement on discipline, curfews, leniency for child
5.  Lingering trust issues resulting in poor communication and negative emotions
6.  Separating old relationships from new ones (dislike of new man or woman in other parent's life)
7.  Control or safety issues when child is with other parent

The Following will not Resolve every Problem but will help Parents face them Biblically:

1. You may feel alone but you are NOT alone! God is with you.  He will provide and help you parent your child through prayer, His word, and obedience to His counsel.  For your Maker is your husband, the Lord Almighty is His Name... (Isaiah 54:5)

2. Watch your words and tone when speaking to and about your child's father. Children know when they are the center of your conversation. "Little pitchers have big ears."  Pray this verse often:  Set a guard over my mouth. Lord watch over the door of my lips (Psalm 141:3)

3. Learn Biblical Communication Skills.  What you say is only part of it.  Good listening is also required.  Know this, my beloved brothers; let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. (James 1:19)

4. Try to resolve issues out of court.  We have a flawed legal system and there's no guarantee you will receive justice.  It's better to go to God first and/or receive biblical counseling. When one of you has a grievance against another, does he dare go to law before the unrighteous instead of the saints?(I Corinthian 6:1)

5. Deal with trust issues, unforgiveness, and personal insecurities before trying to deal with your child's father.  We all have blindspots and never is one person always right.  Learn patience and compassion.  Bear with each other and forgive one another.  If any of you has a grievance against someone forgive as the Lord forgave you. (Colossians 3:13)

Many of the things you worry about as a single parent never happens.  Parenting is a three-person job-- A Mom, Dad, and God!  If one is missing....don't let it be the Lord!

Be Encouraged!  I like the way this secular life coach puts it:

"This is probably one of the most 

difficult challenges any parent could

face--learning to love the other parent

enough to make the children first."

-Iyanla Vanzant

UNTIL NEXT TIME...

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