THE HIGH COST OF 'MISSPENT' EMOTIONS!!!

"Each of you should use whatever gift you have
received to serve others, as faithful stewards of
God's grace in its various forms." (I Peter 4:10)

Greetings Faithful Readers, excuse me if I'm a bit emotional (pun intended) but I'm just coming off an intense Bible study for women entitled: Total Woman: Emotionally Healthy Spirituality! A hundred or so of my Sisters in Christ and I took a deep dive into a rather sensitive area of our being and found some interesting results.  

The Bible study was a sequel to a March church event sponsored by our Health and Women's ministry. An exposition and forum featuring experts gave attendees holistic approaches to our mental, physical and financial health.  We were informed!  We were enlightened! But we needed just a little more motivation!  Where would we find it?  Not surprisingly, in The All-Encompassing Word of God!

The Apostle Peter says this:  His (God's) divine power has given us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having expected the corruption that is in the world through lust. 

(I Peter 1:3-4)

Sisters, when it comes to living the abundant life, Christ promises in John 10:10, we must consider what makes us different than God's other creations--Our Emotions! As God's relational rulers of the world, we have unique strengths in nurture and relationships and can experience emotions in a very intense way!  So is this a Blessing or a Curse!?  Let's explore that idea!

Emotions are a Gift from God!

James 1:17 reminds us that every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.  Humans are the pinnacle, the crown of all that God created (Psalm 8:5) and with that royal position comes heavy responsibilities and accountability!  Who but mankind can enjoy the relationship we have with Almighty God.  We can speak to Him; feel His presence, and He even shares His secrets with us (Psalms 25:14)! 

Emotions are Powerful and Must Be Controlled!

Much like dynamite or nitroglycerin, our emotions are fragile and can become explosive! When sin entered the world it tainted all that God created and certified Very Good (Genesis 1:31). This included emotions residing deep within our human nature (Romans 5:12). Therefore, we were forced into a battle between God's intended good and Satan's evil purposes (Genesis 50:20).  Driven by our thoughts, desires, and beliefs we're in a brutal but not hopeless battle.  Still, this fight takes incredible Spiritual Energy!

Emotions Need an Outlet!

When ignited, emotions have to go somewhere!  Even the negative ones!  We just have to make sure they end up in the right place.  We do ourselves no favor when we pretend we don't feel what we feel!  Culturally, the world has distorted God's design for human emotion: Men are not supposed to cry!  Women are too emotional!  People show strength when they suffer in silence! If it feels good do it! Any of these taken out of proper context can lead to devastating effects.  That's why we need to count the cost (calculate the consequences) for the emotional energy we expend in all situations!

Emotions have a Cost   

The subject of stewardship (using and managing resources for the glory of God) generally comes about when talking of tithing or some type of giving in the church!  We are cautioned about where and how we spend our money. But it goes way beyond that.  It covers all of God's gifts: Time, Money, Talents, Health, Relationships, Energy, Climate, Information. Everything we have as an asset is gifted to us and GOD OWNS IT ALL! (Psalms 24:1-2)  Like everything, all mentioned have a cost and if abused or used neglectfully can be very expensive!

1. ANGER: Jobs/careers (yours or your family's); friends, or even loss of life

2. JEALOUSY: A precious relationship; your integrity, bondage to unhealthy behaviors

3. ANXIETY: Physical health issues and mental disorders of every kind

4. STRESS: All of the above and can Spiritually put you in a free-fall of hopelessness and depression

Negative Emotions Can Be Redirected! 

(The Word of God is the best resource for developing a plan to steward and manage our emotions.)

 

Although the word emotion never occurs in the bible, there are many examples given of its positive and negative results. Unlike many self-help manuals or therapeutic regimens, Emotional Redirection begins with a Change of One's mindset and conforming it to Christ's (Philippians 2:5; Romans 12:2).  We then move to a more effective course in Behavior Modification: The Put off and Put on Principle (Ephesians 4:22-24).  We finalize with a Maintenance Program of  Prayer, Praise, and regular Power Fillings of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:16; 5:22) 

All of America seems to be on a Health Kick!  Work Out, Eat Plant Base, Fast, and Sleep More!  Yet, we are STILL one of the most Emotionally Unhealthy countries in the world.  Without a doubt we are the most violent and our current government officials in shameful disarray!  

These are God-Size Problems to be sure! But we can help by taking care of ONE of them!!!  Ourselves!  Let's commit to getting Emotionally Healthy and then Pass it On to Others!  Not to do so is ….

A COST WE JUST CAN'T AFFORD!

UNTIL NEXT TIME...

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THE JOURNEY ''BACK'' TO SISTERHOOD (FINALE) - Drama Queens!!!

 

Why is it that just when a sister friend relationship starts coming together, the Drama Queen shows up?   It never fails, somewhere between those wonderful fun-filled social activities and long chats of sharing, she makes her appearance!

One little comment gets taken way out of context and before you know it...here comes the drama!  All of a sudden the conversation gets strange or even non-existent and when you ask what's wrong, the face drops to the floor, eyes water up and it all comes out..."I never thought you would ever treat me like that...After all we've been through I thought for sure you would have my back!"  Always over the top with everything normal stuff doesn't happen to a DQ, it's a national crisis in her life.

But Lord, you gotta love those Drama Queen Sisters.  I mean REALLY, the Lord says you HAVE TO!  I Corinthians 13:7 says this: Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

The best way to handle a Drama Queen friend is to not feed into her theatrics.  Down play the seriousness of the situation and although it will take a few times for her to get the message; it won't be long before she moves on to the next person.  Remember no Diva wants to play to an empty theater!  It's no fun if she doesn't get the right response.

A second way, is to set limits to how long you will give them a listening ear.  If on social media, simply stop responding!  If you're face to face, find a way to shorten the conversation.  Move to another conversation as quickly as possible. Not rudely but firmly give your attention to another person in the room or even distance yourself by focusing on an activity that will take you away from the situation.  

Now of course a real Drama Queen will want to tag along or even hunt you down if you escape too quickly. But you can honestly tell her that this is time that you must spend by yourself to do some thinking and when isn't taking a break from the busyness of this world not warranted.  Even Jesus did this!  (Mark 1:35-36).

An opposite approach may also work.  You pick a time and place and actually spend some time with her!  These dear sisters are starving for attention, but seeking it in highly annoying and inappropriate ways!  Let her vent for a few minutes and then stop her with some thought-provoking questions.  Keep them rational and objective, free from emotion:

Did this really happen, just like that?  Have you prayed about it?  What three things could you do to address this issue?  The point is to try to reduce the emotional fuel behind all the theatrics and help her think through the issues.

Last but not least,  make sure the Drama Queen knows that she is not the only sister that you can connect with as a friend, companion, or acquaintance.  As much as she would like to believe that you simply cannot live without her, prove to her that her friendship although cherished will not be allowed to consume you emotionally or your time!

By all means, treat your Drama Queen sister with patience and tenderness.  Pray for her, pray with her but do not handicap her by feeding into a behavior that will eventually devastate all her relationships and actually pushes God off the throne of her heart.

UNTIL NEXT TIME...

If you would like to leave a comment please send an email to: sisters4sisters@att.net OR  scroll to the bottom of my blog page at  http://alittlewiser63.blogspot.com  click on the pencil and the no comments will change to a writing space.

THE JOURNEY "BACK" TO SISTERHOOD! - Tell The Truth!!!

 

In last month's blog, I challenged "Real Sisters" to show love, patience, and forbearance with those often touchy, and difficult women in our lives. The recent Pandemic tested our sisterhood relationships in incredible ways, leaving some of the most cherished ones, lying in the dust!  The purpose of this series is to recapture the essence of what true sisterhood is really like! 

I asked you to finish a list already started and here are a few of your comments in "blue":

"ONLY A REAL SISTAH ....."

1.  Will tell you about a good store sale even though you've just had a big argument! 

2. Listens quietly to your drama but won't let you hang up until she's prayed for you!

3. Gives you space to develop a relationship with others without getting offended! 

4.  Loves you enough to tell you when you're wrong and tries to get you back on track!

5. Will complement you when you look good in something you're wearing but tell you the truth if it doesn't look right on you.

6.  A real sister doesn't have to call you every day but has your back when you need her.

7.  Will listen patiently when you "vent" and show the ugly "you" but never reveal a word you have said.

In Other Words

 Is a friend truly a friend if she won't be honest with you?  The politically correct answer is, of course not! You want a true sister friend to be  comfortable and trust worthy enough to tell you the truth about yourself when it is needed.  But what happens when that's put to the test?  When she tells you something you don't want to hear and can't even believe!

I'm not talking about making judgment calls, character assassinations, or otherwise petty comments we women indulge in.  Just being brutally honest in order to protect you from harming yourself or another and desiring to see God's best for your life.

The truth is that we all have blind spots when it comes to admitting to things that put us in a bad light!  It might be our behavior, our attitude, sometimes even our loved ones.  All these are deeply personal and can trigger emotions in us so ferocious that it would make a football defensive linebacker cower down!

Very much like when driving, a blind spot is something very close and so obvious that it should be readily seen, but isn't.  In this case it is something we ignore because it is unpleasant or too difficult to deal with.  Now who can't relate to that?  But this is where a true friend is needed to help us out!  To give us perspective.  Take a look at Proverbs 27:6.

"Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy."

There is a two-fold interpretation of this saying from the Bible's Book of Wisdom, Proverbs.  First, it tells us that we can depend on a friend telling us the truth about ourselves in a trustworthy and reliable way.  She's not going to go behind our back and bad mouth us to someone else.  She's coming straight to the source!  That's actually the meaning of the Hebrew word emunah in this scripture.  It's literal meaning is "faithful".

But it also means that she does so with great risk!  She may wound you temporarily to bring out the good in a situation but takes the chance of losing your friendship and suffer the consequences of years of anger and bitterness if it is not received well!

Still, isn't it better to hear it from someone you love than in the streets?  That's where those phony friends (the kiss butt  enemies in the the verse) will take it.  They have no qualms about allowing you to live in the devastation of your blind spots then blind side you with insults and abandon you when you hit the wall! 

On our journey to learning what real sisterhood is all about.  Let's think about what matters most! Instead of gathering to ourselves silly sisters willing to tell us what we want to hear; let's find some mature women with enough love to tell us what we need to know, and back bone and patience enough to take it, when we go foul on them and lash out because we don't want to hear it!

UNTIL NEXT TIME...

If you would like to leave a comment please send an email to: sisters4sisters@att.net OR  scroll to the bottom of my blog page at  http://alittlewiser63.blogspot.com  click on the pencil and the no comments will change to a writing space.

THE JOURNEY "BACK" TO SISTERHOOD! - Part One

Bear one another's burdens...
Galatians 6:2

It's been almost four years since the COVID Pandemic and we're still feeling its effects!  One close to home for me, is how social distancing, vaccine controversies, and technology altered treasured relationships - especially with my Spiritual sisters!

With this in mind,  I'm reposting a series written several years ago to remind us to value old connections and give insights for keeping  new connections fresh and vibrant no matter what comes next!

               *  *  *  *  *

Me and you, us never part, (Makidada); Me and you, us have one heart,

(Makidada); Ain't no ocean, ain't no sea (Makidada); Keep my sister

away from me (Makidada)...

                                                  

                            (From the movie, The Color Purple, 1985, Warner Bros. Films)

I can't help it.  Every time I come across a rerun of this Stephen Spielberg film, I have to watch at least this part: Celie and Nettie's heart wrenching love expressed so poignantly in their clapping song.  (Makidada is Swahili for "Little Sister!") Maybe it's because it conjures up afresh, the love I have for my own sisters, all four are now with the Lord.

All those things they used do that drove me up the wall, doesn't really matter. The personality flaws, annoying habits, and even the occasional underhanded schemes to get what they wanted is of no concern.  This fact remains...ride or die...we were sisters and not even eternity will change that!  Nothing will keep us apart!  Our relationship was not by personal choice but came down biologically through our parents...simply put, we're blood!  

This is not unlike our Spiritual Sisters.  They do not come by choice, but through our Savior, Jesus Christ.  We're also Blood!  United and sealed with His Blood throughout eternity (Ephesians 4:5-6).   Why then do we exhibit such intolerance, impatience, and down right hostility when offended by a Sister in Christ?  I understand that we are all human, with real feelings and emotions. It hurts when wounded by another Saint! But I also realize that none of us are ALWAYS operating in the Spirit (Galatians 5:22).  Which means we're open to attack by another Christian at any time.  And by no means are we exempt from doing some sniping of our own. So get used to it!

Still the Bible refuses to give us a pass!  What would happen if we took that eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth adage literally (Matt. 5:38)...we both would end up blind with no teeth!  God insists that for the sake of Spiritual Sisterhood,  we learn to rejoice when persecuted (Matthew 5:11-12) and forgive those who wronged us (Ephesians 4:32). I know...I know, it sounds straight up crazy, counter intuitive, inane, even impossible....But doesn't it sounds just like Jesus?

Relationships are incredibly complex and none are so complex as those between women!  It takes work, it takes prayer.  But let me tell you if you can find a way to work it out, it is well worth the effort!  I'd like to start a little Sister Good will with a list on this blog.  Let's create some positive love language for sisters. I've put a few thoughts down but I want to hear yours.  Please read, add your own comments then post on your favorite social media site.  Not on FB, IG, or Twitter?  

Send an email to: sisters4sisters@att.net OR  scroll to the bottom of my blog page at  http://alittlewiser63.blogspot.com  click on the pencil and the no comments will change to a writing space.  I'D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU! HERE WE GO!

"ONLY A REAL SISTAH ....."

1.  Will tell you about a good store sale even though you've just had a big argument! 

2. Listens quietly to your drama but won't let you hang up until she's prayed for you!

3. Gives you space to develop a relationship with others without getting offended! 

4.  Loves you enough to tell you when you're wrong and tries to get you back on track!

5.

6.

7.

SECRET THINGS!!!

Photo image from Unsplash

What is so intriguing about a secret? Is it the delicious power of knowing something only you or a few know? Does it create an exclusive bond of trust with another?  Or maybe it just makes you feel special?

 Knowing and keeping secrets from a human perspective can lead to negative and sometimes dangerous consequences. But this is not so when the One who holds the Secrets can be Totally Trusted!

The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things that are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law. (Deuteronomy 29:29)

God is the Ultimate Secret Keeper!  Even those who won't acknowledge Him will agree! For there are some things that Believers and Non-believers share when it comes to wondering about the Secret Things of God!   Such As..

SECRETS ABOUT HIMSELF!

• God is both Transcendent and Immanent: God cannot be understood or seen physically in our natural and finite state.  He is invisible and no one can see Him and live. (John 4:24; Exodus 33:20) Yet, He IS knowable!  He dwells and is ever present within us with His Spirit. (I Corinthians 3:16; Acts 17:27-28) In the spirit we are empowered, strengthened and comforted by His presence. He is never far away from His children!
• He has No Beginning and No End: God is Self-existent.  He was not created not even in the minds of others (as some would have you believe).  He is Sovereign and is not dependent on any one other than Himself.  He exists solely for His own purposes and will be so for eternity.  (Colossians 1:16-17)
• His Wisdom is beyond our understanding: Even the knowable parts He reveals will cause us to scratch our heads!  Some things we just won't understand. That is why our relationship with God is built on FAITH.  We just have to Trust Him! (Isaiah 55:8-9; Hebrews 11:1)

 SECRETS ABOUT HIS CREATION!

• The Universe: Man estimates that the observable universe has at least two trillion galaxies. Our earth is located on the Milky Way and is just one of them!  So, could there be life then on other planets?
• The Human Body: The adult body has about five liters of blood circulating through it continuously. It also has an average of five million pores (tiny holes) in the skin that allows it to breathe and rids the body of toxins. Yet there's never a leak of that blood or any blood loss at all unless an injury occurs from the outside. How could this be?
• Plant Life: A mustard seed is only 1-2 millimeters in diameter (a pencil dot) but can produce a tree 2.7 meters tall (2,700 times its size). Who but God could do this?

 SECRETS ABOUT SPIRITUAL MATTERS!

• Why an All-Powerful God allows Evil (Romans 8:28) 
• How One Man's death secures the Salvation of uncountable souls throughout generations (Romans 5:12)
• What happens during physical death ((I Corinthians 15:55-58)
• When Christ is coming back (Matthew 24) 

You may have noticed that no commentary, only scripture is given for this last section.  This is because man is STILL grappling with these questions and God is showing us the only place an answer can be found and the only ones He will share it with!

The secret of the LORD is with them that fear him; and He will shew them His covenant.  (Psalm 25:14)

THE SECRET IS IN THE BOOK!!!!

UNTIL NEXT TIME

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There's Nothing Like the Feeling of 'NEW'!

 I am of the generation that still appreciates things that are new!  Southern born from a family of ten children, we didn't always have the luxury of buying or wearing things straight from the manufacturer.

I guess that's why I still love the smell of a new car; the comfort of a brand new mattress, or the sound of new appliances doing their thing, softly and efficiently.  

Not new as in cheap or artificial. There's plenty of that kind of stuff.  Things quickly made to satisfy the desire to look rich without paying the price. But that which is authentic, long lasting and of the highest quality.

The greatest example of the Newness I'm referring to is when the Lord led me to this particular Bible verse early in my Christian life:

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

Although, I am no longer deprived of new things materially, I am STILL in awe of my God Who allows me to experience this new feeling spiritually.

💚 NEW MERCIES that awaken me each morning - Click Here

💚 NEW FORGIVENESS for my sins  - Click Here 

💚 NEW NATURE controlling my attitudes and lusts  -Click Here

💚 NEW HOPE in times of discouragement and despair - Click Here

As Christians we should never forget the wonder of our salvation experience! Like children who devalue and discard an item as soon as the newness wears off we become satisfied with the  artificial when the genuine is right at hand

Instead we should approach each day and each blessing as a season of newness in our life. Our God is about making things Brand New! He doesn't refurbish or renovate.  He completely changes us from the inside out. 

Are you STILL thirsting for the FAKE when you can have the REAL DEAL my friend? Here's another reminder from God's Word:

Ask the Lord for rain in the spring, for He makes the storm clouds. And He will send showers of rain so every field becomes a lush pasture. (Zechariah 10:1)

UNTIL NEXT TIME

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When God Is Not Enough: Some Reflections

It's hard to imagine these words ever coming from a Christian's mouth:

 "Lord, You're just not enough!"

Yet, it happens more often than you think. If not spoken aloud, the sentiment seeps seamlessly from the deepest core of our being into our daily living.  It comes out in our conversation with others.  As we make future plans for ourselves or our children. When difficulties arise. Even when we pray!  

The truth is that we live in a Fallen World, marred by sin and never meant to replace or satisfy the deepest longings of a Saint's heart (Ecclesiastes 6).  If you're finding yourself struggling with the reality of your dual citizenship--in the world but not of the world (Philippians 3:20). Don't be Alarmed!  Don't Panic!  Don't get Discouraged!   

 

 When God is Not Enough: 

1.  You've Lost your Focus:  Romans 12:2; Hebrews 12:2; Luke 10:38-42; Matthew 16:24.

     We've become distracted and over stimulated by the pitiful offerings of our surroundings. 

     The Enemy competes with the Lord for our time and attention bombarding us with the 

     temporal rather than the eternal.  Our ambitions are distorted yet gloriously affirmed and

     we fall prey to fleshly pleasures. Disillusioned when all fail, we then blame God!

2.  You've Lost your Perspective:  Matthew 6:33; I John 2:15-17; Proverbs 4:25-27; 2 Chronicles 

      20:15

      This is a natural response to loss of focus.  David, Elijah, and Jesus's disciples at some point 

      experienced this in their lives.  It can come after a great victory or a great loss, when we are fearful 

      or simply just full of ourselves! It makes us think and do what we ordinarily wouldn't. It creates 

      doubt, stress, and fear. We forget Who's really in charge and are no longer beacons of hope but

      deterrents to the Gospel.

3. You've Forgotten God's Promises:  Numbers 23:19; Psalm 145:13; I Corinthians 1:9; 

     I Thessalonians 5:24

     Thankfully, the conditions described above can be temporary experiences and not a pattern

     of your life. They are after all common to every human.  But we have what unbelievers do not.

     We have the promises of God!  One bible scholar says more than 7,000.  Each of these promises

     conditional or unconditional refute any claim that God is NOT Enough! 

If I find in myself a desire

which no experience in this world

can satisfy, the most probable

explanation is that I was made

for another world.

                                            -C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity 

     

       PRAYER FOR TODAY: "God, whom do I have in heaven but you? And besides you,

                                                        there is nothing on earth I desire. Let that be my prayer,

                                                        because you are enough. AMEN"

UNTIL NEXT TIME

If you would like to leave a comment please send an email to: sisters4sisters@att.net OR  scroll to the bottom of my blog page at  http://alittlewiser63.blogspot.com  click on the no comments by the pencil and it will change to a writing space