A Cry From My Younger Self

Lord, how did I get here?

The wisdom, I'm learning in growing older is that I have very little room to criticize and pooh pooh the decisions some younger women are making. Where once I was one of those who hesitated to publicly express my dismay over the stupidity of my young kinswomen who although beautiful and educated still succumbed to what Iyanla Vanzant calls, the Person, the Penis or the Promise; in private I readily castigated my scorn!  I repented however, after taking a look at my younger self.  I did some stupid stuff myself. I guess I just had to keep on living, like the elders used to say.

That's why I was moved with compassion when I checked in on a young woman who I've unofficially taken under my spiritual wing!  I hadn't heard from her in a while but have always been grateful to her for she and others were the inspiration behind me writing this blog!  Always seeking fresh insight into the world of young Christian singles, I asked if she had any topics she wanted me to share. She responded that she'd like to see one on: Godly women dating worldly men!

Hummmm, this might take awhile I thought. But maybe some of you (my readers) might weigh in on the subject for some objectivity.  Use the comment section at the end of this blog!  Until I hear from you though let me just share these theories:

GOOD GIRLS ARE ATTRACTED TO BAD (Worldly) BOYS BECAUSE---

1. They like a man who can take care of himself and in retrospect this makes them feel more secure.  Women want to feel safe and protected.  We want to know that if something or someone threatens our homes or well-being our man will be able to handle it!  We assume that a worldly man has the inside track on this and will rise to the occasion if needed.  Confidence in a man is very attractive and security is a very important emotional need for a woman. From the Garden man was made to be woman's protector so we seek out those types of men. (Gen. 2:23-24; Ephes. 5:28)  

2.  Godly women love a missionary project! We really believe we can make a flawed man better just by loving him! We are by nature, nurturers.We care, tend, and try to bring out the best in those we love. We see good qualities in a man we're interested in and believe that God will empower us to to save his soul....not for God's glory but for our own selfish needs. Why would God go through all that trouble and put you through the mess when He tells you to wait until He sends your Boaz to you? ( 2 Cor. 6:14) 

3. We love a man with a little edge...a sense of adventure.  We find worldly men more stimulating than a man who seems stuck in a rut.  Some godly women are also risk takers. They will often choose men who are their spiritual opposite just to provide some excitement in their relationship. But one must remember that when the "thrill is gone"...the consequences remain and the flesh is very hard to satisfy.  Like the elusive high...you might find yourself chasing that same sense of adventure and never quite reaching it. 

4.  Godly women can get comfortable with what is familiar.  This is especially so for women who are new in their faith.  They have not yet learned about or accepted their own God-worth and have lowered their standards for a man for so long that they keep returning to the same old, stagnant well of love, to quench their thirst. It is  important to take time to really invest in yourself spiritually before putting yourself out there in a relationship.  Worldly men love godly women. You are a conquest for them. If he can turn you away from your biblical principles he has won a priceless trophy...but you are left with the Booby prize!


You may question:  If dating worldly men is so bad, why does God  keep putting them in my path?  The answer is easy.  God never tempts us but He often tests us.  He is testing your faith in Him to supply your every emotional need. Your patience to endure and Your wisdom to discern what is good in order to gain what is best. You have to pick through a lot of bad apples some time before you find that perfect one. (James 1:2-4) 

Hang in there Sisters!  If you've flunked God's test....brush yourself off and try again...He will always give you a DO OVER!

Until Next Time,