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| "Older women must train younger women to live wisely... (Titus 2:4-5) |
I do have an issue however, when these facts contribute to a twisted theology and therefore a twisted reality! I do not place all the blame on you, as some in my generation would do! For too long we sat back and watched you run head first into destruction, either too apathetic or too afraid to say anything because we wanted to be your friend rather than your parent!
I do think, Dear Loved One, that we have now come to a crisis of sorts. Neither of us are happy with the results. Let me try to put it in your own vernacular. We do no good to our relationship or honor God, by throwing shade, when we should be trying to understand one another.
Let me begin with what I've heard and experienced firsthand, your view of older women. I'll be speaking in generalities rather than facts because I've appreciated the love and respect, shown to me by many your age and in equal amounts. It's important for me to say that.
1. WE ARE JUDGMENTAL!
You believe we sit back just waiting for you to make a mistake so we can pounce on you for every little indiscretion. I still grapple with the word, judgmental. It comes up so often in our conversations and always as your preferred defense mechanism when we have a disagreement! But what Love, are you defending? Surely not the behavior (and it's always a particular behavior we're discussing).
When all the smoke and fire clears, we both agree that what you're doing is not in your best interest! The irony is that even while you're accusing, you are in fact, judging me! You say that I couldn't possibly understand what you're going through! That I'm condemning you and putting myself in the place of God! Did you ever consider Who actually set the standard for holiness?
Why, when I say the same thing He says, am I the bad guy?
Quote: Correction is only seen as judgment to those who still love their sin!
2. YOU CAN' T TRUST US!
Little Sister, this really hurts! You say you can't trust me with your thoughts and deepest feelings. You are afraid that I will gossip, put your business in the streets, and perhaps use your vulnerabilities against you at your lowest point. I cannot be your confidant and advise you privately and biblically, but Facebook counselors (some you don't even know) weigh in on every area of your life publicly! Many of them in no better shape than you! This confuses me! Tell me why you are more tolerant and often kinder to them than me?
Quote: With the ancient is wisdom and in length of days understanding! (Job 12:12)
3. WE ARE NOT SUPPORTIVE...ONLY CRITICAL OF YOUR PERSONAL GOALS!
Now here is where I must draw the line! If we did not care about you and see your God-given potential, we wouldn't bother to tell you when you've gone off the rails! This is not only good counsel but a biblical mandate! If we weren't supportive, after working hard for social security and pension, we wouldn't dip into our limited savings to bail you out financially. We wouldn't let you disrupt our peace of mind as you move into our paid for homes (often with your children) while you get yourself together! We wouldn't concede to functioning like the cable service, we pay for and you enjoy in our comfortable guest rooms, playing Grandparents on Demand while you go out with friends or handle work situations that keep you from parental responsibilities. This we do to maximize godly influence and minimize harm to our grandchildren. Unfortunately, they become the collateral damage from your personal choices!
Quote: Older women are to teach the young women to love their husbands and children. 5 They are to teach them to think before they act, to be pure, to be workers at home, to be kind, and to obey their own husbands. In this way, the Word of God is honored. (Titus 2:4-5 NLV)
Now this is what I know: We are better together than we are apart! Older women, the spiritually mature ones, that Paul speaks of in Titus, are not interested in imposing themselves into your life! We've been there and done that! We only want the opportunity to share with you in a bond of sisterhood the wisdom of our own experiences! Older women are proud of your beauty, intellect, and skills in navigating this complex and confusing world. We just want to show you how to claim your place in it and to do so with godliness, poise, and a grace that befits who God made you to be! Won't you give us a chance?
WITH LOVE FROM YOUR OLDER SISTER,
UNTIL NEXT TIME...
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I love this! There is so much truth written here. I have often wondered how us older women would be able to teach the younger women when they have such negative views of us and don't want to listen? Just as the article says, they feel we are judging them. The truth feels that way because we don't want anyone speaking of our sins. I would love to be able to share some of my experiences to help them to not make some of the same mistakes. Experience is a hard teacher and recovery is hardly ever immediate. I, personally don't want to be the one to approach someone; I don't want to be misunderstood and older women don't favor rejection anymore than anyone else. Prayerfully the younger women will see we are in no way judging them, just want to be of help.
ReplyDeleteI'm feeling you Sister! This is my prayer also, that somehow, someway we will learn to risk the trust needed to keep us all walking God's path of righteousness!
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